NPK

It's 2am. I have woken up because my feet are BURNING. I have only got one hour of sleep so far 👍 I have had bad feet for my whole life. Some people have worse problems in their feet than me. I'm lucky we started early to fix mine. For years I have had ever worsening bunions and ever worsening hammertoe. For a long time they didn't hurt but I was like a freak show. It was like marmite, you either really wanted to see them or you really didn't. Either way reactions were always the same...'WOW can you actually not straighten them?' 'Wow they are so weird/gross'... I know... I look at them every day. Naturally we tried to search for solutions. At age 12 I got a surgery performed on my two second toes which had hammertoe from the pressure my bunions were causing. Unfortunately they couldn't operate on the bigger problem until I was at least 21 (which at 12 seemed like forever away and now it's only 4 months away - Time flies when you're havi

I am the maternal friend - the mother of every friendship group I've ever been a part of. I have grown to accept that. I always have been and always will be. Now that can be both amazing and extremely stressful. Like every mother, I worry. My problem is that I worry too much and often for too many 'children' I guess? I don't view my friends as 'children' at all so I guess I just view them as more vulnerable than what everyone else views them as. Part of the benefits of being a friend is that you get to see past that wall, barricade, shell (whatever analogy you'd like to use). You see into their real person and that can be so beautiful and so painful at the same time. You know their soft spots, their weaknesses and you are always watching out that nothing and no-one  hits them in these vulnerable spots. Like pressure points in your body, they can make you cripple. Likewise you see their true beauty through their passions, emotions and secret life goals. Howev

The reason why people struggle to swallow this adjective, is stated under the second and third meanings of the word. Nobody wants to believe that they are rude or angry as these are negative traits so when we get into debates and somebody calls us 'ignorant', we are offended. In this environment the atmosphere is tense and so we assume they mean it in a malicious way. We also view the origin of the meaning as being negative because who wants to be called 'uneducated' really?  I don't know everything about every culture, religion, socio-economic group, political group, disability, sexuality, language, campaign...  I AM IGNORANT..... and that is okay, provided we keep learning.  We use the term 'ignorant' flippantly. We use it often to describe someone who disagrees with us. By dismissing them as 'ignorant' surely that makes you moreso for refusing to listen, learn and understand. Is that not why you are angry at them too? It is a vicious cycle so

I Wished Them Luck and Then I Said Goodbye As the sun sets on another humbling day, I stare out across the sleepy fields in Cihea. I am sitting on the balcony of the Mission Centre reflecting on my time here in this beautiful country. The crickets have began their evening song and little birds are tweeting their lullabies whilst children's giggles fade into silence as bedtime approaches. Lights have started to turn on, like stars surrounding the fields, luminating the few houses there are in these rural lands. The dogs engage in their twilight bark (101 Dalmatian fans please appreciate this) and the smoke of an evening fire rises up to meet the silhouettes of distant trees and watercoloured sky with clouds sketched  into the horizon. The city lights of Oradea twinkle in the distance. Nobody could recreate this moment with paint, film or photography. It's a scene fit for poetry. I am so lucky to be able to escape the sad stories I experienced today. I am so lucky to be bac

When I See You Again I've realised that although I was heavy with the suncream yesterday, I forgot to do one place... I was brushing my hair this morning getting ready for Day 2 at Dezna when the bristles slashed across the tops of my ears. It felt like a million needles had stabbed them at the same time. If my mum was here, she would be laughing at me for forgetting such an 'obvious place' which she always did for me as a child.  The weather was more humid today with a light breeze, perfect for working in the 'garden' of wilderness....until a scorching heat spread up my back and sweat droplets trickled down my face. A roaring bonfire had been lit to burn the piles of brambles and rotten wood from inside the house, metres from where I was working. After the abuse from the sun yesterday I was not going to let the bonfire stop me from working today. It motivated me and the rest of the team to work harder and faster to escape the angry heat it spread. We slic

Castle on the Hill  Well... I don't think I'll need that gym membership by the time I get home!! We all worked very hard today with the sun's rays glaring at us - the heat weighing down on our shoulders. Plastered in layers of suncream, sweat and insect repellent, we worked from 10am - 5pm at a new centre that Smiles are constructing in Dezna. It was an old project which unfortunately fell apart but now it is being resurrected by Mission Trip teams! The centre will be a retreat for children's outreach camps, conferences and may have a wing for those living without their hearing or without their sight. Motivated after a snooze on the 2 hour bus ride and after hearing the disappointment that the team felt at the project's fall in 2006, we got straight to work upon arrival. The labour was hard. The sun was persistent. I think everyone came away with blisters or sunburn (if not both) but it was worth it. By the end of the day, the land at the back had doubl